ridge:

i love learning useless information 

"jfk was kind of hot"

   — a comment ive heard in literally every history class ive ever taken (via kriegersvirtualgirlfriend)

(Source: neptunain)

"I’m not a coffee person. Don’t drink coffee, I run on anxiety. That’s right. Free, clean burning internal cocaine you make yourself."

   — Pete Holmes (via riffinbits)

(Source: solitaryexistence)

nbcsnl:

latenightseth:

John Mulaney on the origin of Saturday Night Live’s Stefon and changing the cue cards on Bill Hader on live TV.

Oh hey, old friends!

shutupaubrey:

i love watching pets sleep bc you see their belly go up and down when they breathe and you’re like wow this is a lil living creature that’s all mine to play with

layla-miller:

I REALLY HATE WHEN PEOPLE ARE RUDE TO TEACHERS FOR NO REASON

WOW!!!! A TEACHER WANTS ME TO PAY ATTENTION!!!! HOW CRUEL!!!!!

WHOA!!!!!! A TEACHER WANTS ME TO BE IN UNIFORM!!!!!! WHAT A BITCH!!!!!!!!

OH MAN!!!!!!!!!! A TEACHER WANTS ME TO PUT MY PHONE AWAY!!!!!!!! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW SHE’S YELLING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Source: nico-di-angelo)

becomingdeaf:

shitdeafkidssay:

Please don’t say you’re fluent in ASL if you’re still working on colors and numbers. Say that you want to learn ASL or that you’re learning ASL.

Yes, this. Please. And if you are an ASL 1  or 2 student, please do not take it upon yourself to tutor others in the language. You’re not ready. Trust me.
ca-mi-lla:

suzvoy:

clairemillergilbert:

That’s what happend in my mind at the Wolf Watch.

But this is what happened!

This is legit what happened.

Anonymous
how do i get my girlfriend to shave her pussy?


iratheunicorn:

Here’s what you do… Go to your girlfriend’s place and apologize for tricking her into thinking you were an adult who could handle something as simple has pubic hair and then tell her she should leave you because you’re a jackass.